The college application process can hurt. You put everything out there, you tell your whole life’s story to the colleges, and then they respond with a simple two letter word. No. We all react differently to rejection and disappointment. Sometimes we get angry, saying that the college is stupid and wrong for rejecting us. Sometime we face denial, believing in vain that the college made a mistake and will be telling us the truth later. Sometimes we start bargaining, telling ourselves that we will transfer after a year at another college. However, I am here to tell you that acceptance and self compassion are the keys to truly moving forward, and these are crucial to actually enjoying the college experience wherever you end up. 

We all fail sometimes, and there are times that we don’t end up where we wanted to. Self compassion and acceptance is one of the most important things to have in these scenarios. While I may have blamed others or gotten angry at first, I only reached closure once I zoomed out on the situation and looked at everything from afar. I realized that the colleges that rejected me weren’t rejecting me, they were rejecting just another name on just another piece of paper. These were people with their own lives, their own struggles, their own hopes, and their own dreams. Being angry at these people does nothing other than make you miserable with the situation you are in. However, after accepting wherever you ended up, you start to realize that things might not be so bad after all. Maybe your school has great sports teams and a school spirit that lifts you and all of your classmates up. Maybe it has a bunch of great clubs that you can join and find your group in. Maybe it just has people that make you happy and you want to be around. No matter what it is, wherever you end up will have things that make you happy, you just need to go out and find them yourself. 

In order to find happiness in the world around you, you need to have compassion for yourself first. Remember that you have qualities that colleges cannot measure, and those are the characteristics that make you who you truly are. Maybe you light up every room that you walk into with your contagious smile and sense of humor. Maybe you are the thoughtful person that all of your friends go to when they need help or advice. Maybe you love to help your friends understand material in class that they don’t quite get. To the parents reading this, I hope you make sure your kids know what their special characteristics are and why you value them so much. To the kids reading this, always remember that you are amazing in your own way, and whatever colleges say to you can never change that.